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The first day of the month of Janus saw us at the docks of Ostia, waiting to be taken to Hispania, in the large cargo ship that Maximus had acquired passage on. Besides the general, Justinius and myself, we were taking twenty men, seasoned veterans, men with whom Maximus had grown up, and were anxious to see loved ones back home, as well. Not much was happening, that winter, and with legions stationed in the places where they were needed, the Felix troops were hardly needed, at this point. Our party would meet up with them, in late summer, when we reached Germania, before finishing the trek to Britannia. I was as yet not sure where in Britannia we would be going, or even if we would stay. I knew Maximus had another mission awaiting his decision to take, but I did not ask about it.The only animals that were going with us were a few camp dogs, including Lupa, and the Spanish horses. I hated leaving my mare behind, but Maximus assured me that she would be waiting for me in Germania. We would pick up other mounts in Tarraco, when we reached the opposite shore of the Mediterranean, to carry us the rest of the way to Emerita Augusta, where Maximus’ brother lived.
I found myself looking forward to the trip. I had seen Macedonia and much of Italia, though at those times, I was in the midst of transition between owners, and too downtrodden to pay it any mind. I had seen nothing of my trip from Britannia, as I was kept in the hold of the slave ship, then hooded for much of what land travel I had made, right after being kidnapped from home. Maximus was direct and exact in his speech, most of the time, and he said every word slowly, so that he would not be misunderstood. But when he spoke about Emerita, his words gushed over on top of themselves. It was hard not to feel his excitement, as he and Justinius competed in their efforts to describe their home for me, on the eve of our leave-taking. Maximus became a simple man missing home, rather than the commander of armies.
And after a few cups of strong wine, provided him by Gracchus, he was a very loud one, as was his nephew. I was certain the entire camp could hear him tell Justinius that the youth was not explaining how Emerita looked, correctly. Justinius returned that he should know how it was laid out, he was born there, to which Max roared that he was born there himself, years before Justinius was spawned. Between the two, I managed to understand that Emerita was set upon rolling fields of golden wheat, and that orchards of all sorts of apples and various types of fruit covered the back of the property owned by Justinius' father. Gardens of exotic flowers would bloom in spring and summer, and the scent of them would carry for miles about on warm evening breezes.
I drank one cup of the wine, at dinner, and that was plenty, for me. My mouth and hands were numb from the strength of it, and I was feeling mildly warm and giddy. I got up to clear platters from the table, and swayed a bit. I knew if it hit me that hard, then surely the greater quantities the others imbibed were bound to give them bad illnesses in the morning. I firmly planted my feet, and took the utensils away, to clean them. When I returned, Maximus asked me to refill the cups, including mine. I had never seen him so boisterous; it was a pleasant change. The austere general was smiling, and laughing in earnest, without restraint. Had he been Celt, he would have been the life of any feast.
He seemed puzzled, when I only topped off his and Justinius’ drinks. “You’ve only had one!” he cried, grabbing for the half-empty jar I held.
“If I have another, I won’t be able to wake up in the morning,” I explained, holding it just out of his reach. “I have things to finish up, before we sail.”
He shot me a pained look. “You work too much. And you didn’t get to be Master for a day,” he teased, referring to the Saturnalia celebrations, the week before.
“Next year, perhaps I will make you be my slave for two days,” I replied quietly, and was greeted with the flash of Maximus’ smile. Not the one he used, when he was pleased by a job well done; this was for joy at being with people he cared about, simply because they were there. It reached his eyes, setting them ablaze with azure fire; then they were nearly lost behind his apple cheeks.
My uncle used to tell the tale of how he had been struck by lightning, as a child. He would tell us that he had been rooted to the ground by the bolt, unable to move; every extremity tingling and alive with shock. I was stunned into silence, and paralyzed by the realization that my master was handsome, when he was happy. And his happiness came from the simple fact that I had jested with him, if only a little, and that he was going home.
Even in his inebriated state, Maximus must have been aware that I was momentarily caught off guard, for his face softened, and he pleaded gently, “Have another measure with us.” Thank the gods for Justinius, who inadvertently broke the spell Maximus had woven over me with his smile, with the announcement that if I was not going to have more, he was going to drink my portion, himself. They fell into another argument, this one over who deserved it more, and I slipped away to bed, berating myself for forgetting that I was only the general’s servant, and letting my heart do the thinking.
Neither one of them looked well enough to travel, as they slowly got around the next morning. Maximus was more grim that usual, and after a light breakfast of bread and milk, wandered off to make sure about matters concerning the care of his army, during his absence. Justinius was talkative enough, though, as we moved the horses and Lupa to the dock, and started loading them on. The men that were coming with us, gave a hand, securing the twenty animals in their stalls, and making sure the dogs were not in the way of the crew. I was uncomfortable in the hold, and Justinius gave me a rather sympathetic look, as an involuntary shudder took me over. I had been on a ship, very similar to this. We made our way around the boat, while waiting patiently for Maximus to join us.
The captain showed me the general’s quarters, and I stowed our belongings there. There was only one bed, so I went looking for extra blankets and furs, to make my own bed, on the floor. The men were doubled up in bunks and harangued over who would have which. Not much different from the men I had once had under me, when I had been fighting soldiers just like these. The irony that people by themselves were essentially the same was playing through my head, while I went about my quest for bedding material. Lupa followed me above deck, and the wagging of her tail signaled to me that Maximus had arrived.
He was still on the dock, hardly looking at the boat; just watching the sailors pack other cargo on, and disappear down below. The captain would turn to him, every so often, and say something to him, only to be answered by a single nod or shake of the head from my owner. Lupa barked to get his attention, and while the corner of his mouth turned up slightly at sight of us, his expression did not change. I wondered if perhaps he had had entirely too much of the wine, as he was not used to drinking that hard, that I knew of.
He called up to me, as I was pulling away from the side of the boat, “Is everything on board?”
“Aye. We are just waiting for you.”
No answer for a moment, then, “Nothing was left behind?” Of course nothing had been forgotten. He had made sure of it, the day before, as I had listed for him all that was packed. Other than the idols of his wife and son, and what clothes we were wearing that day, everything was loaded.
“No, Sir.”
“Are the horses tied well?” He was stalling. Surely by then, he had faith in my abilities to see after all my tasks.
“Come and see,” I invited, keeping the irritation out of my voice. He glanced back toward the camp beyond, as if to convince himself it would be all right without him, and I guessed that he was just worried about it. We would be away for several months.
He left the captain, and climbed the ladder to the upper deck. He was pale, and sweat had broken out on his forehead, but he grimaced, when I suggested he take to his bed. He would be fine; he knew, as I did, that he should never drink like that again. I shrugged, and led him below, so he could ensure the horses would travel well.
I busied myself after that, with observing the crew, as they went about their duties. I thrilled when the lashings from the sails were undone, and they were raised to catch the winds, to start us off. The quadruple sets of oars were lowered to the shallow depths below. I could imagine the strain of the oarsmen, probably fellow slaves, as they pulled in and over, on the giant paddles, to move the ship out onto open sea. It was slow going, at first, but once we left Ostia behind, and were not pressed in by other boats, I found myself running for the prow, so I could watch the waves breaking against the plank sides, and the occasional dolphin racing alongside, as we made for Hispania. I wished Lucius could have been there to experience it with me. I think he would have enjoyed it, very much, as I had, my first time, when I was a little girl, and taken by my grandfather on his big fishing boat.
It was nearing evening, when Justinius approached me, asking me to assist him. He spoke quietly, but there was a hint of consternation in his eyes, that immediately pulled me away from my perch at the front of the ship. He had gone to talk with Maximus, and had discovered his uncle dizzy and on his knees. I followed him to Maximus’ quarters, where we found the general heaving helplessly, bringing up the wine from the night before, and his meager morning meal. He was weak and trembling, when I put my arms around his waist, and guided him onto his bunk.
Justinius was gaping nearby. “You would be more useful to us both, if you would get fresh water, cloths, two buckets, and do it quickly,” I snapped, not stopping to worry if I would be punished for my insolence, later. He fairly flew out to do my bidding, and returned a short while later. In the meantime, I had been doing my level best to make certain Maximus’ and my things had not been vomit-damaged. He lay on the bed, his back turned to me, to sleep. I let him. When Justinius returned, I cleaned up the mess, and handed him the bucket that held it.
His nose wrinkled in disgust. “What shall I do with it?”
“Overboard. Bring back the bucket, though. He might need it again, later.” I winced at the smell of illness, and wished I had sage to burn, and rid the room of it. All I could do, was leave the door open, to allow air to circulate about, to carry the odor out. I thought the night air would do Maximus some good, but I was reluctant to wake him.
Justinius returned, and stood near the door, taking in the general’s resting form. “The wine?” he asked. I nodded. “I’m surprised I’m not joining him,” he joked wryly.
“I’m glad you’re not. But then, I think you do far more drinking than he does.” He laughed, and agreed.
“Yes. But I’ve never had it go to my head, even before I was used to it.”
“You’ve never helped a comrade when he has?”
“Sure. But not on a ship.” He shook his head at Maximus. “Poor Uncle. He smells. I’m going out. Want to come with me?” I positioned the empty bucket near the bed, for Maximus, and made sure he could see the water, in the other. I followed Justinius up the stairs, to see a sky full of brilliant stars.
We stood in awe of them, and Justinius pointed out to me the constellations as he had learned them, and I showed him the ones I knew. He gave me a much clearer view of Emerita, and asked me about Britannia.
“Do you miss it?” He wondered, as I described for him the wild, dense forests of my home, and the region I grew up in.
“Yes, everyday. But I don’t think about it, too often.”
“Will you be glad to go back, when Maximus sets you free?” I thought about that, for a time. I had never really considered the idea, until the general had promised to loose me from bondage, that I might ever have the chance to go back at all. But I doubted I would go back to the Carvetii, there was nothing left for me there, so I imagined I would go further north, to the Caledonii, and my uncle’s home. Or I would go back to Rome, and serve Lucius.
“That’s a very good question,” I smiled at Justinius. “I don’t know.”
“I can’t imagine anywhere I would rather be, than Emerita,” he confessed, gazing out over the starlit waters. “If I were in your place, I think I would be trying to run away, if they kept me from it. I don’t know how Uncle did it, when he was a slave.”
“It depends. His family was gone, yes?” He nodded gravely.
“So is mine. I stopped caring what happened to me, after they were taken from me. Sometimes, I still don’t. Life and death are at times, the same thing for me. I do what I am told, give my best, and if I am praised for it, so be it. If my master is not pleased, then I just realize I am a slave, and whatever my lot is, then I will accept it.”
“Maximus used to think like that, too, he says. I think he still does, even though he has my family, and Emerita. And now, you.”
I shook my head. “It’s not the same for him, without his wife and son, though. Just as Britannia is not the same, without my loved ones.”
“You’re young enough, surely you would find a good man to make a home with, wouldn’t you? No sense in living your entire life alone. Uncle shouldn’t be, either. I was hoping, when I first heard he had bought you, that he was coming around.” I did not really know what to say about that. It was not really my business, what Maximus did with his life, other than where it concerned my responsibilities. “Forgive me. I love him. He’s a great man, and deserves happiness.” He was blushing. He was rattling off his thoughts out loud, to a friend, or good listener, and had meant no matchmaking. I grinned, and brushed his discomfort away, by mentioning that I should go look in on his uncle. He was relieved, and went to his own sleeping place.
Lupa was on the bed beside Maximus, when I let myself in. I realized that she had probably been exploring the ship, and getting her bearings, all day. Or been fed choice bits of food by passengers and crew alike. Her tail thumped the mattress gently, when I stood next to the bed. Maximus was awake, though it was obvious he had not risen, since.
“Are you better?” I asked, almost in a whisper, while I drew him a cup of water. He barely acknowledged my query with a positive motion of his head. “No more wine for you,” I announced, and he grimaced, slightly, as he finished the water. He refused food, and was soon snoring again. I piled my blankets and furs, making a bed on the floor, close to the door. I would have to scrub it, the next day, and he would need a bath.
The second day, he was no better, so I put off getting the wooden slats cleaned, until I was certain he would not ruin them again. I warmed water for him, however, so that he could bathe, and while he stood for a bit, I changed his bedding. Through it all, he said nothing to me, and not to Justinius, either, when the centurion came to ask after him. He just fell asleep, again.
“Do you think he picked up a fever or something, in Ostia?” Justinius asked, as we took our meal together, on the deck.
“No. I’m sure it is still the effects of the wine, sometimes it lasts for one or two days. He’ll be fine. I’ll watch him, though.” The centurion seemed mollified with that.
The third day, he was worse, however. The dark, forbidding clouds in the sky threatened a winter storm, and the ship pitched on the wind-stirred waves. The horses were not interested in food, but in keeping their footing, as they were tossed in their stalls, and the dogs were huddled together in a far corner of the hold. It was a hard walk to Maximus’ cabin, but I made it, only to again find my master vomiting violently, albeit in the bucket.
He was seasick. I cursed myself for not recognizing it for what it was, two days ago, as I held his shoulders, while he continued to retch, until nothing else would come out. He was chilled, and his teeth chattered. I helped him undress, and managed to get him inside his own blankets. I brought my own over, and began layering them on top of him. I assured him I would return soon, but I had to get something to make him feel better.
I found the captain, and asked him for a measure of ginger, and another of honey. He did not ask why, simply provided me with the requested items. I also found salted meat and a loaf of bread in the kitchens, as well as hot water, and took my finds to the cabin I shared with Maximus. I shaved off bits of the ginger root with the precious dagger my owner had given me, and mixed them with the honey in the water, helping him sit, so that he could drink it.
It was painful for him to move, from the bruising of his chest inside, but he did as he was told. He was reluctant to eat, but I informed him that if he did not, the next bout would be much worse. His stomach needed settling, and the crude tea and food would help that. He really needed to be up above, to breathe clean air, as well, but with the freezing winds, he would only catch pneumonia. There would be plenty of days between this one, and the day we docked in Tarraco, that he could be in the elements. He slumbered again, soon after his dinner was consumed. I argued with myself for several minutes, about whether it was wise to share the bed with him, but he was still shivering, even under all the blankets and furs, so I crawled in behind him, so that he would benefit from the warmth of my body. I thought I would suffocate, but whether it was because of the weight of all the covers, or the idea that I had to be that close to Maximus, I could not tell.
